ST ALBANS – When Agnes Totherow, 82, contacted The Eastern Gazette on April 9, she was frightened, in pain and frustrated! Agnes, who lives alone, has needed a hip replacement for months. She’s been in too much pain to leave the house over the winter, to sleep well, or even to stand with her walker long enough to cook for herself. And because of the COVID-19 risks, her surgery, scheduled for March, was postponed to April. Now that’s been postponed, too.
“Dear God, I hurt,” Agnes said. “I walk from my chair to the kitchen and I’m in such agony!”
Compounding her worries is that she tried to get Meals on Wheels – and landed on a waiting list. Her daughter, who lives nearby, picks up her groceries, as well as doing her own errands and those of another elderly family member. Neither woman has a lot of gas money, according to Agnes, plus she hates to see her daughter out there risking infection.
“I’m worried for my young’un,” said Agnes. “She can’t stay long. She’s in and out, afraid of infecting me or anybody else.”
Agnes spends a lot of time “yelling at the TV,” she said. “I have to just sit here and suffer, but that’s not my problem. My problem is, I see these people out running around. Do they not understand they need to stay in? Is there something somebody can do to make these people stay in, for the people like me that need medical help and can’t get it [until COVID-19 restrictions are lifted]? Please make these people understand!”
So to be clear, throughout Maine and our nation, there are people going without surgeries and preventative care they need until we have successfully flattened the curve enough for medical practices to return to normal. And there are elderly people with limited resources stuck in their homes, worried for their families and having a hard time paying for the food and medications they need, or the gas to fetch them. Some of those people aren’t physically up to cooking meals. And many of those people are experiencing loneliness and anxiety.
Staying safe at home and practicing the recommended hygiene when we must go out is vital. The longer it takes to flatten the curve, the longer it will be before we can get back to whatever our new normal is – and folks like Agnes can get what is certainly essential healthcare to them.
In the meantime, check on your neighbors, and learn what resources might be available to help meet any needs. A call to the St. Albans Town Office proved helpful.
Town Clerk Charlin Williams knows Agnes, and said she is “a sweet lady.” Williams planned to contact Meals on Wheels to see what might be done to move Agnes up the waiting list, and to invite a friend from church to take turns dropping meals at Agnes’s door now and then.
A call to the local town office is a good place to start when searching for resources, Williams said. Many communities have service clubs or volunteer groups trying to help out at this time.
In St. Albans, Hartland, Palmyra and Ripley, for example, the Hartland-St. Albans Lions Club agreed at their last meeting, nearly two months ago, to transport food to the homes of individuals or families who are self-quarantined due to a positive COVID-19 diagnosis in the household.
“We are not offering to [pay for] the food for people, but to help them by bringing it to the door and leaving it there,” explained Robert Davids, president of the local Lions Club. The club will grocery shop, and also pick up boxes from food cupboards for delivery.
Agnes didn’t fit the criteria, but that didn’t stop Davids from giving her a call, and then delivering groceries paid for out of his own pocket, when Williams told him about her plight.
“I don’t really know why but we haven’t gotten any calls, until I got the call from the town office yesterday about this lady in St. Albans,” Davids said. “I haven’t met her face to face. I called her and found out what sorts of things would help get her though the weekend, then went to Moosehead Market for microwave meals, milk, peanut butter and other items she suggested might be helpful. She asked me to leave them on a chair at the top of the ramp, because she can’t bend down enough to pick them up. This is not what the Lions were planning on doing, but I had the chance to help her out myself, so I bought the food and took it to her.”
And in a more roundabout search for resources, The Eastern Gazette reached out to a volunteer group in the Dover-Foxcroft area involving a partnership between The Commons at Central Hall, Helping Hands with Heart, and United Way. Dr. Lesley Fernow, who is heading up efforts to organize grocery/prescription deliveries in that area, called Agnes herself, and also planned to connect Agnes with a United Way volunteer in Palmyra who had offered to call shut-ins during this time of isolation.
“I was so down that day, it was terrible,” Agnes said during a follow-up call on April 13. Having lost power for three days, Agnes risked going to stay with her daughter until the lights were back on. “And I got some sleep last night,” she said, sounding more chipper.
“I also got to thinking, there are other souls out there in worse shape than I am that need help,” she said. “I’m just praying for them and asking God to hurry up and get this mess over with!”So – have you formed a COVID bubble yet? No? Don’t be so sure. I had one long before I’d even heard of them! A COVID “social bubble,” according to guidelines issued recently by Alameda County, CA, is “a stable group of not more than 12 individuals, who may attend outdoor social or other events together. A social bubble may be comprised of a combination of households, but no household or individual may participate in more than one social bubble [with certain exceptions].”
So when I have the occasional socially distanced visit with a friend who lives alone, outdoors, eight feet apart, we are in a social bubble. Who knew?
Social bubbles have been forming nationwide, both organically and more intentionally. Another local example is that of Jesse Moriarity and her neighbors, who gather outside to enjoy carry-in meals on Friday evenings.
“We have really great neighbors, and for some of us, we have only children,” said Moriarity. “This is torture for only children. Our son had no one to talk to but adults for three months. Zoom just isn’t his jam. So that’s how it started.”
The social bubble includes several immediate neighbors. “We knew we needed some ground rules for this,” she said. “We are not going into anybody’s house. We bring our own food.”
A scary experience early in the pandemic established trust in the neighborhood. One husband, just returned from the Bahamas, became “incredibly sick.” The wife “called all of us immediately because we had all been together the day before,” Moriarity said. “Because of that experience we all trust each other. They called us immediately. There was no judgement, just, ‘Is he okay? What can we do?’ We were all just together. We have a lot of trust among us that no one is going to hide [illness] or be embarrassed or worry about being judged.” Fortunately, the husband did not have COVID-19.
When forming a social bubble, “You’re asking a group of people to really, really trust each other, and I think that experience made it easier,” she said. “These families all trust each other and I think we’ve all been honest with each other about our risk factors. It’s been nice that we can talk about those things.”
The social bubble of four families includes one healthcare provider, and several people who work in offices, as well as one that has someone come into the home to provide childcare. Still, the participants feel that the rewards of socialization for both parents and children are worth the risk.
“There are six children, spread out in age from 5 to 12, and they are so sweet to each other! They are so happy to be together after months of playing alone in their yards,” Moriarity said.
The group has been meeting for about a month. “It’s been so nice,” she said. “I am definitely the extrovert in my family, and this is filling my cup back up. If we need to self-quarantine again in the fall, we certainly will, but for now I feel like my cup is filling up, which is wonderful. This is just what we needed, and summer in Maine is just lovely!”
Moriarity acknowledges that the group is taking a risk. “We have one other neighbor who stayed in quarantine because he wants to visit his father, who is really ill. He needs to stay secluded, so we keep our distance and just wave at him. But mental health is also really important and I think we’ve got to figure out how to take care of both. There’s so much out there on how to reopen a business, but nobody is talking about here’s how to reopen your lives. How do you spend time with people? I’m glad we figured it out.”
The health order issued by Alameda County in early June detailed formation of social bubbles, or childcare or youth activity units, allowing members of different households to socialize – carefully. Recommendations include:
And a recent healthline.com article also detailed what they deemed the “double bubble,” a concept being used in Canada and New Zealand, in which two households may interact, with safety restrictions. Households with a high-risk member should not consider such an arrangement, according to the experts cited. Choose people who add to your quality of life, and be careful not to get into a situation where you are choosing to socialize with one side of the family over the other. Social distancing and face covers should also be used among double bubble participants.
All that said, however, the Maine CDC has not taken a position on social bubbles. “Physical distancing, use of face coverings in public, and good personal hygiene, including frequent handwashing, remain the best ways for people to limit potential exposure to the virus that causes COVID-19,” said Maine CDC spokesman Robert Long.
What has transpired is transpiring.
A virus sweeps like the loose winds dance on these candles. Like the breeze that bends the oak, moves the grasses, sheds the seed. Like the water that runs flames from fracking. Like the hands that deftly kill. Like the tears of mother's torn from children. Like the arc of bomb to target, a geometry of power. Like the friction between rope and limb as a noose slides on bark and neck. Like the saliva that trickles dry as the chorus of calling out all the names needing to be heard gets hoarse.
How these eyes absorb and tire, integrate, avert and squeeze shut information emitted by liquid crystal displays of ions and headlines calling for action, pleading for change, selling sensationalism.
(the wedge that drives us apart is on sale and one click away).
And still, and surely, a prayer. Does it lessen the shock? Prayer. That the great divide rocks the shores of privileged feet so that they feel the laps of waters edge. That the chill of those waters shock internal temperatures into recognition. Prayer. That the great space, yes the void not the vacuum, is like the humidity of the East- that dense oppressive blanket heat, the blockade that slows time, the barrier that makes swift motion into slow motion, dripping molasses from a spoon. Forced to the gentle face of Eternal Essence. Feel that and remember true history. Remember white role, black and brown toll, power structures gifted from the queen. Dig the earth to find the roots and plant again. Regenerative. A prayer to shift the inner compass of Those Who Keep All That Power. The pendulum has to find center.
It starts within.
A prayer for empathy and safety.
A prayer for love and goodness.
A prayer for our neighbors' health.
A prayer for our plants.
A prayer for the 1,000 ways magical moments still rise.
A prayer for resistance and a prayer for peace.
"360 boxes were moved before 12 noon" Erin tells me, as she compiles the multiple sheets and clipboards notating which towns folks arrived from. The official start time for this No-Cost Special Food Distribution was actually 12. She reads some of the towns listed outloud.
"Hartland, Bowerbank, Barnard, Jackman, Newport, Corinna, Exeter, Kingsbury, Wellington, Pittsfield, Williamsburg, Corinth, Milo, Brownville, Dexter, Ebeemee Township, Dover-Foxcroft, Ripley, Garland, LaGrange, Charleston, Cambridge, Parkman. And, we had multiple cars today picking up for multiple households."
"And the volunteers! They kicked butt." We had volunteers coming from Greenville to Bangor. Volunteers representing Northern Lights Mayo, United Way, and EMDC came to lend a hand. Foxcroft Academy students, Center Theatre's three Summer Americorops VISTA's also pitched in and were a lot of fun to have around.
"We probably did an average of two cars a minute", Steve says.
That's a lot of cars, a lot of households, and quite a distance to travel.
And if the amount of cars in such a short time isn't telling enough about our current social landscape, the gratitude and visible tears shed about receiving this kind of help might be.
Some folks who were receiving food boxes for the first time, stated they felt ashamed or embarrassed, and others expressed deep gratitude and appreciation.
PR Food Center's response? This is a human experience. Everyone needs help. Everyone has a right to food. Period.
Steve, in the midst of parking the large van says, "Volunteers kept telling me about all the people who were just amazed that they didn't have to prove their need. That no questions were asked. The disbelief was startling. It bothers me that people have to feel that way to get food. That it can't just be a normal thing."
Erin nods. "There's no shame in needing help."
We'd like to thank all of the volunteers who helped move food today, the Piscataquis County Ice Arena for sharing their parking lot, the USDA and Pineland Farms for the contents of the food box. And big, genuine, real, gratitude for folks coming through the line. Though the circumstances that brought folks in today are in fact a combination of elements, much of it systemic and absolutely unfortunate, the connection and genuine exchange of human-to-human today did feel like fortune. The more we offer mutual support systems in our communities, the more it becomes normal, the more it becomes habit and the less times you, a friend, or a stranger have to reflexively prove themselves or fight shame and stigma to get food.
Reflections from the field: October
"If we didn't have the infrastructure we wouldn't have been able to pull this off" Rod tells me during our informal office catch-up. The food box delivery truck in previous months has been able to stay for the duration of the distributions at the Piscataquis County Ice Arena, allowing volunteers the ability to pack inside the truck. However on this day, the trucker said he had to be at the Canadian border by 2:15. There was no way he'd be able to wait. The PRFC team was ever-grateful for the show of volunteers that were able to pack produce on-site. Rod's word for the distribution? "Non-stop."
PR Food Center was the recipient of 16 pallets of produce from Delaware. Of that, a total of 13 pallets were distributed. Rod estimated that it was 10 pallets of squash and 3 pallets of potatoes.
The contents of the boxes included a variety of meat, dairy and produce. Each household received a gallon of 2% milk.
A few weeks ago Erin brought in the tally sheets from October's distribution. The tally sheets are pretty simple. Four columns reading: "Town, # in household, # under 18 and # over 60". This information is what we use to provide quantitative data, and it helps us note patterns of need from our communities.
Erin and Steve had already started an excel sheet. But for the next couple of hours, all you could hear in the office was the sound of Erin reading and me quickly typing. "Brownville 4, 2,0. Dover-Foxcroft 4, 2, 0. Brownville 2, 1, 0. Dexter 2, 0, 2".
We both realized that we were entering in a bit more than just numbers. We could ascertain that there are a solid amount of single-parent households. Data such as 3 in the household, and 2 under 18 years old, reflect this.
Erin noted patterns also. "And it looks like there's a fair number of grandfamilies out there. We can't be absolutely sure but when we see numbers that tell us that a household has 2 children and 2 adults over 60, we're guessing that's a grandfamily."
During our October special distribution, 1877 people were served. 516 were under 18 (27%) and 567 were over 60 (30%). In total, 704 households were served that day.
Reflections from the field: November
We're still crunching our numbers from November's distribution on Tuesday 11/24 and will make those public as soon as possible.
This month the food boxes came from the USDA in partnership with a food distributer in Maryland. "Lancaster Foods of Maryland" provided 5lb protein, 5lbs of dairy, 1/2 gal milk, 12lb produce + potatoes + buttercup squash. Each box contained a variety. Many had strawberries, hotdogs, yogurt, sour cream, cottage cheese and cranberries, chicken or shredded chicken or meatballs.
Steve had a feeling going in this month that there was a chance the traffic might get gummed up due to the rushes of cars that were there far before 1pm. He quickly implemented a 5 lane system to alleviate potential jams at the entrance of the ice arena.
Overall, the distribution was smooth and efficient. Some folks heard about the distribution from word of mouth. Others, through social media. Some, happened to be at the right place at the right time.
For many, this was the first time they had ever been through a food line. Comments like, "Ok, so what do I need to do? This is my first time." Or, reflexively telling us the first and last name of people they were picking up for. Or reaching for the glovebox for identification, before hearing that all we needed was for them to tell us the town and household makeup. And especially, that they simply have a good day. We've written about this phenomenon before. There is no reason for anyone to feel they have to prove themselves to get something to eat.
We are so grateful for our volunteers who have been able to be available regularly for these special "mega" distributions. Truly, we couldn't have pulled it off without this help.
If you attended this distribution, or volunteered for us, we welcome your perspective and experience! You can always send your insights and feedback to: info@prfoodcenter.org or call and tell us about it at (207) 802-8230.